How other people see you isn’t how you see yourself

I’m in a mastermind and we had one of our meetings yesterday. We did the usual business stuff, some learning and supporting one and other with what we had going on.

The biggest thing for me, however, was an activity that didn’t feel MASSIVE in the lead up to it, but left quite the mark.

We were tasked with thinking about specifically each person in the mastermind and how they inspire us, why they inspire us and what we think about them that’s amazing.

Now on the surface this was quite simple. I find it ridiculously easy to talk about other people and their strengths and the things that I see that shine for them.

It was, however, quite confronting and of course, lovely.

What was also curious was the way that I was dealing with it at the time.

Why the heck does it feel so hard to receive? Like, really receive?

In the lead up there was a little bit of “Oh. What if they say something ‘shallow’? What if they don’t find anything about ME that’s inspiring. I mean, I’m nice I think! But … do they see substance?” not to mention “They HAVE to say something nice and so I wonder if they really mean what they’re saying or if they’re just doing it because they were tasked to”

I love to give things to people in the form of gifts, compliments, support, help and whatever it is that they need. I love doing this with clients, with friends and quite honestly, sometimes with people I don’t even know! I love to help people see their own potential and the sheer magic that they have within them.

I love hearing it too. From strangers. Or people who I don’t really know.

But I guess from strangers it doesn’t really have the same impact compared to when it comes from your peers.

From strangers, it’s easy to downplay it and not really necessarily fully take it on because I know they don’t know really know ME in a way that being surrounded by the same people for a year know me.

Whereas, with peers, when you hear that they’ve SEEN YOU, heard you and still apparently like you even when there are things you thought might make them go ‘ugh’… it’s nice.

I expect certain things to be said about me by people when they talk about me. I do. Kind of like a pre-anticpation thing. You do, too. You have this idea in your head of what people see in you and how they see you.

I kind of expected the surface stuff around my energy and pocket rocketness. I’ve had people tell me that since I was a child.

I didn’t expect people to talk about my generosity because I don’t really feel like I’m really that generous!!!! I don’t really think of myself as being solid. It’s just who I am, I guess. When things are pointed out though, and with examples of these traits, it does get you thinking.

It was really lovely.

It’s also kind of curious to have people say stuff to your face as opposed to doing it through an introductory speech or a written way. There is certainly something about the spoken word
I feel very blessed.

Something I get my clients to do is to ask their friends and peers and family what they see are their biggest strengths. And I am never ever surprised at the laundry list of words that comes through describing these people. They’re amazing and the amazement that they share with me when they tell me what comes up, is a gift.

When was the last time that you opened yourself up to receiving?

To really being in the spotlight, being talked about by people in such a positive, loving and uplifting way?

I don’t think that many of us really get that as a gift.

So my challenge to YOU is this:

If you have a group of clients that you work with, ask them to share something about each of your clients that they love.

If you have a group friends who are super awesome and uplifting, let them know what you think about them. REALLY.

What is it about them that you love, that you think are their strengths and that you admire in them?

Record it somehow.

Play it back.

Read it back.

And when you’re feeling ‘less than’ or ‘not enough’ or self doubt is whopping your ass from Monday through Sunday and coming back around again, read it again, watch it again, listen to it again.

Over and over and over and over and over.

Then. Go to the mirror. Look at that amazing person staring back at you.

Tell them out loud all the amazing things that others have said about you until you start really believing it, feeling it in your core and acting like that person.

We all see it.

It’s time for you to believe it

I see a Queen in you.

I see a Leader.

I see a Badass.

I see a ROCKSTAR.

I can’t wait for YOU to see that.

To start acting like that.

To start OWNING that.

Get started on this in The Queen Code.