Now, before you judge me for having an IDGAF attitude…. take a read of this. Developing an attitude of this is more about your internal state than anything else. It’s not about being an asshole to people!

As you were….

Getting to that IDGAF ‘tude.

You know, some of us are born with it and others… well… it’s a work in progress, right?

‘It’ doesn’t always have to be an innate thing…content creation, speaking. Coaching, dealing with people, managing, LEADING….

Lots of things need to be mastered

 I’m someone that IDGAF needed to be learned…it wasn’t natural for me.

In the past I’ve been so worried about what others thought of me that it was debilitating. From photoshoots to marketing. From friendship building to the bedroom. From roller derby to energy work.

I felt like I needed to do it all the ‘right’ way, the ‘proper’ way…. After all, what if I made a fool of myself?!

What if things didn’t go the way I wanted?

It conjured that feeling of being naked on stage and the audience looking, pointing and laughing at my naked exposed body.

“Honey”, I used to say to myself “Nobody else really is even probably thinking anything like you are fearing…. And if they are, they’re really not the kinds of people to associate with anyway”.

I read an article in Marie Claire about Lady Gaga in college and how people formed that ‘She’ll never be famous’ group on Facebook and it reminded me of that time, in 2013 when I learned that an “I hate Nicola Moras” group had been created by ex-clients and prospective clients.

Yes, that’s right. People can be so cruel when it comes to the Tall Poppy Syndrome and wanting to drag others down to their small minded, toxic level of existence.

For me, when I learned about this, it rocked me to the core.

I had never been bullied – knowingly bullied!!!! – ever throughout my life, so this came as quite a shock. I hadn’t experienced anything like this at school, the kind of thing that you could well experience at school… but this was from grown ass women. Women who were, for whatever reason, threatened by me. Well, that’s my assumption. I have no idea why they did what they did, so this was all that I could come up with!

Needless to say, it rocked me.

I did, however, have a full stable of clients who were AMAZING. They were there to provide me with the external validation and reminders that I really needed at that time in order for me to grow thicker skin, move on past all of that drama and increase my resilience.

Not necessarily the thing I’d want to repeat again, however, resilience is important in life and business, right?

I used to try to do things the ‘right’ way. The ‘proper’ way. The ‘acceptable’ way.

And the thing that happens with this when you slip slide into this way of doing business, marketing – heck! When you slip into this way of doing LIFE – you can become, honestly, boring.

Because you’re trying, either consciously or unconsciously, to conform.

Don’t rock the boat.

Don’t have too much of a strong opinion because you’ll cop some hate.

Don’t do things too differently or left of field because someone might not like it.

Don’t TRY to do things differently because what if it doesn’t ‘land right’.

Have you ever experienced this?

Have ever felt like you had to bite your tongue for fear of people not liking what you had to say?

Something I feel is important to raise, here, I believe that we can share our opinion and ‘argument’ in a way that’s respectful whilst still maintaining your firm stance.

For example, I had an email from an ex-subscriber who complained about a theatrical based experiential email that I sent out recently (You might have seen it – it was the Transmission From The Future [YOUR NAME]. There was something I discovered in the email settings that made it LOOK like it came literally from the future you!!!

She accused me of being manipulative, full of BS and for being inauthentic.

Now. I have been on stage in one way shape or form for most of my life.

I have always been a performer and always will be.

I love telling stories.

And I think it’s CRUCIAL in our marketing that we are able to show people a picture of what they might ASPIRE to be like.

Inspiring. Motivating. Kick Assy. Results based. Always value packed. Educational.

So, for me, when this email (and she also posted publicly on my Facebook page) I was totally non emotional and kind of read like “What the heck is this woman talking about?!?!!?!?!?!?!? This email came from my imagination, my heart, and I know that if I received this email, I’d be like WOW!!!! I want that……. And I wish I could write like that!”

 And I invoked the IDGAF attitude. I responded respectfully and also pointed out the answers to her accusations and wished her well.

You see, the IDGAF ‘tude doesn’t have to be aggressive. It doesn’t have to also be ‘attitudey’ it also doesn’t have to be soft. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE ANYTHING.

You just want to have that inner CONVICTION that you have always said and shared the RIGHT THING at the RIGHT TIME for the RIGHT people.

The fact of the matter is this:

Some people will love everything you put out there.

Some people will love some of it.

Some people could take it or leave it and be indifferent.

Others won’t like it.

Others will hate it.

It doesn’t really matter what category people fall into for you…

So long as you’re sharing from the heart, with the best of intentions that are about serving, adding value and helping people to move forward with their lives in whatever way it is that you do that.

 So, HOLD THAT LINE.

Trust in your CONTENT.

Trust in your HEART.

Trust in your MESSAGE.

Trust in your AUDIENCE.

And those that love you will keep on loving you.

It’s not your job to try to convince anyone of your value or that they should like you.

Because LIKING you doesn’t pay the bills.

Being BEIGE won’t help you to stand out.

Being the SAME will have you blending in like boring beige and white linen.

AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

Nicola

PS. I’d love to invite you to come along to a 2 day ‘retreat style’ immersion in May, on the Gold Coast in ‘my’ penthouse. We’ll be going through exactly how to unwind all of this BS marketing and business conditioning that the internet has pounded us with over the years. We’ll be working on YOUR message, your mindset, your marketing and of course, we’ll be masterminding as well.

We’re going to deepen your thinking, grow your conviction and do everything we can to PROPEL you like the SUPERNOVA you are this year, to the world, the galaxy and the UNIVERSE.

We’ll be talking through how myself and clients of mine have done multi-millions in sales with our online businesses by BEING OURSELVES.

Wanna know more? Check out the sales page here:

If you have questions, hit me up!

Nic