Why are you being such a pussy?

From a really young age these days we’re told to be careful of this, be careful of that. Don’t do this and don’t do that.

Hedge your bets. Pathway this and plan that.

What has been inadvertently bred, is a culture of sitting on the fencers and safety seekers…

Which is in a direct clash of the entrepreneurial world, right? I mean, think about it.

You’ve got to be a special kind of crazy to be an entrepreneur! To start your own business and to take THAT LEAP into all of the awesome that is uncertainty….

Which can make this place you may have found yourself in kind of weird and intimidating…

The cross roads. The cross roads is where the decisions are to be made. The choices.

And as an entrepreneur, a business owner and a freaking badass, these choices need to be made over and over, again and again.

Which is more than a little annoying…

And also means that when you find yourself there, yet again, forced to make a choice about this life you’re creating, it can lead to both exhilaration and frustration.

I remember waking up in the middle of the night, years into my journey as a business owner with the familiar track playing in my head “Why does this have to be so fucking hard” …

There have been times in my business where I’ve been flying high and feeling pretty freaking invincible.

And others where I felt like all was lost.

Both of these tend to land you square at a cross roads and you’re faced with a choice.

Like a choose your own adventure.

Choose this and move forward 3 pages or choose that and move forward 25 pages.

You don’t know what is going to happen next with the choices that you make, but unlike in a novel, we can’t slip back and do a ‘do over’ and see where the other choice might land us.

When things aren’t seemingly going your way, I feel it can be harder. Tougher. Dirtier and rougher trying to AGAIN choose to move forward.

For example. Let’s say that things are seemingly well in your business, but you want to grow your income. You know that if you keep doing the things that you’re doing right now; you’re going to keep getting the exact same thing you’re getting right now.

Or you can choose to do something different. Most of the time, with the people that I come across, it’s the decision to invest in a mentor who will help you with an external set of eyes, looking at your stuff, helping you to see things that you might have missed or perhaps even teaching you different things to move you forward.

This comes with a risk, though. Because if you invest but do nothing, then you’ve wasted the time of both of you. If you don’t do anything with the support you’ve been afforded, then nothing changes.

Success doesn’t happen via osmosis. The magic doesn’t rub off. You have to do the work.

Conversely, if you choose to not hire someone to help you, you run the risk of bobbing up and down in the ocean of overwhelm and frustration as you try to navigate your own way through the tides and rips and creatures of the unknown. Also, a risk.

For me, whenever I have invested in a mentor who I believe is going to help me, it’s always been risky. What I mean by that, is that I haven’t always ‘had the money there’ just sitting there, in my account, begging to be invested.

Sometimes I’ve had money and other times I’ve had to make it.

Sometimes I used money that was put aside for other things (like tax) to pay for mentoring and support, because I held tightly the belief that for every investment, I make in myself, I will multiply that investment by at least double.

And let’s be honest. What’s the alternative?

Sitting, watching the other people hit stride after stride, scaling their business and then doing it again… while you watch on in envy. Wishing that you had a do-over.

You’ve got to get in the game…

I played my first full contact roller derby game in years, recently, and it was challenging and tough. Not just physically, but also mentally.  It was mixed derby, so I was playing against men and women of varying sizes and abilities. I was by far the newest person to skate and it was daunting.

In one two-minute section of the game (called a JAM), I was knocked down time after time after time. Again, and again. Hit from all sides, not able to get through the blockers. Feeling like a moron. Like a newbie. Like a little flea being flicked by a human and told to “Go away, you don’t belong here”. ß that was never said. It was just how it felt….

Yet. I kept getting back up and going again, like a glutton for punishment.

When that part of the game finished, I was able to sit on the bench and wait my turn to get back out there.

I was NOT in a good head space.

I was sitting, watching, having a literal tantrum in my head, where my self talk was all “you’re not good enough. They’re all better than you. You’re never going to make it past an of them. Who do you think you are? You’re not ready for this” and that whirred and whirred and fed into my overwhelm and anxiety and stress and it was not fun.

So I talked to one of our benchies and asked for feedback. They could see what I could not in the fray…. They said I was good, that I can and that I am fine. I also know that if they felt like I wasn’t up to it, that they’d keep me off. For my safety and for the rest of the team

It took a whole lot of mental prep to feel like I was ready to get back in…

I fantasized about needing to go to the toilet and hide in there till the end of the game.

I fantasized about feigning a migraine.

Pulling out.

Stopping.

Crying.

I needed some attention but not in that way!!!! I needed some reassurance.

I needed some strategy. I needed some help seeing what I wasn’t able to at first…

I told myself off for being a pussy. For buying into my own bullshit.

I talked to myself from that point on, in the way that a coach would speak to their client…. I asked myself what I would tell someone in my position.

What would I say to my clients if this was work?

And that was to get the fuck back out there.

That you CAN do this.

That you DO have the ability.

That you are capable, more than capable…

But you’ve got to be in the game if you expect to progress forward at all.

That you have to be willing to fall down, get back up, take the hits and roll with the punches.

And that is another choice to make at the crossroads.

Business will get you bloodied.

Business will get you strong.

Business will leave you battered and bruised.

Business will leave you inspired and feeling invincible.

Business is the most rewarding thing you can ever do….

BUT you have to make the choice over and over and over again….

And then remind yourself that you MADE this choice.

And that any other choice would be silly. Would be soul breaking.

Because this business is the thing that fuels your purpose. Your work. Your joy. Your riches. Your family. Your life.

So, what do you choose?

I choose, every day, to keep going.

To keep ‘risking it’.

To back myself.

Because anything other than that would feel a zillion times worse.

Invest even when you ‘don’t have’ the money.

Take action when you don’t know what the outcome will be.

Decide to get back in the game even when you’re tired, battered and bruised.

Keep going.

Because just on the other side of all of that is your second (12403457620756) wind.

You are loved.

Nicola

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