Given the time and space to really ‘do the work’, what do you think you’d come up with?

 

Me? Well. I know that when we have the time and space to check in with where we’re at, where we were and where we’re going, it can raise some ‘stuff’… and the added bonus is that we can zero in to the things that could be instrumental to our success.

 

I’ve had some tine and space to work through a block that came up for me recently around abuse.

 

Now, this isn’t something that you’d think would be a success block, right? I mean, we’re talking YEARS ago that this stuff occurred!!! I’ve done loads of work on it, I’ve had therapy, I’ve had coaching, I’ve done ‘all of the things’.

 

But what does this ancient history have to do with business?

 

Here’s the thing I know… particularly for entrepreneurs, artists, people who are out there ‘selling their thoughts’ and strategies and tactics and essentially their own IP in whichever way YOU package that…. Everything is freaking linked, because we ARE our businesses.

 

So anything that’s effecting us, if you think about it, is effecting our business.

It’s all linked.

 

What I personally uncovered for myself was just how deep this trauma ran and how it was having an impact on my business.

 

Here’s what I mean by this.

 

I was doing some work on a blog recently and a memory came up about primary school and how the teachers always used to say “if she’d focus instead of chatting” type of stuff. I dragged out my old school reports (thanks Mum and Dad for saving those!!) and read through them all. The pattern form Prep right through to year 11 was that I was enthusiastic and eager. Quick to finish and could sometimes utilise my time better by going back and checking my work. (Borrrrrring!). Once it’s done it’s done, right? Ammight or is that just me!?!!!?

 

Anyway. The other thing that I found was a letter I wrote about me not being accepted as a prefect at school. You see, I’d been going out with this guy in Year 11 who the teachers didn’t like, but I did – obvs. His car was loud. He tolerated no BS. That kind of thing!!! They want to instil independence and confidence to go out into the world, but not so much that it threatens the teachers authority.

 

My parents went into bat for me and the letter came back stating that although all of my time up to then had been exceptional, there were things that bothered them and I didn’t make it Prefect status.

 

I remember being gutted by this. The memory of the sting of rejection by people in authority because of apparent choices was quite visceral. Incidentally, my parents removed my sibling from said school due to issues surrounding him and the attitudes of teachers that were similar to that of my ex-boyfriend.

 

This wasn’t the thing that tripped me up recently, though. No. It was however the start of a shame spiral.

 

Why? Because this thinking led me to think about other things that happened before, during and after that time.

 

To the point where, I was driving my car and another memory popped in and I had a physical shame reaction to that memory and thought process.

 

My face went bright red. My breathing sped up. It was intense and then it subsided, as such things do. But it gave me something to work through and bring into the light. Abuse. Grooming. Control. Survival. Fight and flight.

 

There were things that came up that now made sense to me, some two decades later or more in some instances.

 

The way that I have been so driven to have successful career…

 

The way that I have been so driven to have a successful business…

 

The way I’ve been driven to succeed….

 

I realised was driven partly by a couple of things:

 

• Proving to people that I am more than my shameful past (my words and actually it’s not even shameful, but it was how I felt at the time).
• That I had been trying to create the perfect life in order to make up for my ‘bad choices’ from my ancient history.

 

Here’s what I know, though…..

 

We are human and we all make crappy choices along the way.

 

We are all human and when we are marketing ourselves and putting ourselves out there, our stuff is going to come up.

 

The best thing you can do is remember that you are not your past.

 

You are worthy.

 

You are amazing.

 

You are beautiful.

It’s ok to let it go.

 

It’s OKAY to let that shit go.

 

You will move through this and past this.

 

You are not perfect and that is amazing. Nobody is perfect. .

 

You, however, are freakishly brilliant at being you.

 

The world needs what you’ve got.

 

Trying to be perfect (even you think you’re trying to be perfect or make things perfect) is a fruitless effort that will leave you exhausted and depleted.

 

Trying to prove that you are worthy of anything is also a never ending battle that you’ll never win, because when do you know you’ve proved anything at all?

 

The big thing to remember though, is that you are worth more than your ability to make money, your body, your business, your content or what someone is willing to pay….

 

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

 

I felt like I needed to remind you that you can work through whatever it is that comes up when you have the right people around you to help you through it. From therapists to mentors to coaches to mental health practitioners. You can’t keep it pushed down forever though, in my experience. Speaking with many other people who have either been in these scenario’s or who have helped people in these scenario’s, it flares up and the most inconvenient time.

 

So what is it that you need to bring into the light and out of the shadows?

 

I asked this question of myself in my journaling process recently and this all came out.

 

I then asked, what should I share publicly for the good of my community? For my audience? For YOU?

 

And all of the above flew out of me.

 

Shame can’t survive in the light, like a vampire.

 

Vampires feed in the dark.

 

Vampires feed in the shadows.

 

Vampires feed on the icky sticky crap that nobody wants to see.

 

All you need to do is step into the light, be brave and do ‘the work’ if you notice that there’s something going on that you need to work on.

 

Naturally, YOU don’t have to share it with your communities. This is a personal choice.

 

Naturally, you don’t have to do anything with what you discover….

 

I do, however, believe it’s important for you to examine things as they come up and do a Rex Hunt where we catch, kiss and release.

 

Yeebadah-yeebadah. That’s all folks.

 

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brene Brown

 

 

1. Apparently that wasn’t all!! If you’ve got stuff that’s coming up, make sure you have someone you trust that you can speak about this stuff with. It’s important to get it out of you. Remember that you’re not alone. And that you are ok. And that you will be ok. If you need someone to talk to and you feel like you don’t have someone, let me know and I’ll send you some recommendations. We’re all in this together, right? And I KNOW from experience that we can get through it.

 

You can still continue to do what you do while you’re dealing with stuff as it comes up.

 

Continue to share your message.

 

Continue to channel what needs to come through and put it out there.

 

Continue to share your Intellectual Property far and wide.

 

Because if you stop, then the VAMPIRES win. The shame wins. The stuff that lies beneath the surface wins and you deserve so much more than that.

 

Mkay? X