For what reasons are you doing what you’re doing?

I was on a call earlier today with a woman who was doing an onboarding call with me. I’ve decided that this year I am going to do some study in areas that I am DEEPLY excited about.

I have been tinkering with and playing with over the past 6 years or so. Not because I feel like I NEED it in order to ‘get to where I want to be’ but because it interests me. Not because I feel like it will add 0’s to my business or make people buy from me… but because I want to do it for me. To learn.

So when I was asked this morning about why I wanted to do this, it was an easy answer. I hadn’t really thought about it beforehand it just flew out of my face. Yes, in many words a’la’Nicola 😉

I remember being asked by almost every coach I’ve worked with over the years (there have been many) about why I chose them.

My answer was always “ Because I resonate with you. Because I see what you’re doing and I want to learn more about how you’re doing what you’re doing and what you’re doing”. But the first reason was always because I felt like they would ‘understand’ me or ‘get’ me.

With the exception of ONE mentor. I chose one mentor to work with because of the community they had grown. I didn’t choose this particular person based on personality fit. It was based on other factors.

Suffice to say that this particular one was the one that I felt like I didn’t get what I needed from! Surprised? Not really.

For me, personality is a huge deal if I’m going to work with someone. I want to feel like I connect with them and that they’re ‘like me’ in some ways….

So how do you know these things?

I know for me, if I’m going to work with someone, by the time I actually reach out to them to have a conversation I’ve already bought in, in my head. I’ve made that decision.

I’ll make these choices usually on gut feel, on their posts, their blogs, their content, their webinars, the way they interact on social media with people on both their business page (if they have one) and on their personal profile. The decision, however, is usually made quickly.

For me, the person I choose needs to ‘fill a gap’ for me. A gap in knowledge, a gap in accountability or a gap in my support team.

After buying from that one mentor as mentioned above, it took me a while to get back to being ok with trusting my gut and my intuition again, you know?

I mean, I’ve been burned before by people in the past. I’ve bought things that I felt like didn’t deliver on what was sold…. And I was worried that my judgement of people was off.

It wasn’t.

I just made a decision that was outside of my ‘normal’ parameters!!!! And I guess we know the consequences of this.

The thing is with mentors, what I feel like I need is this:

Someone I can be real with.
Someone I can cry to.
Someone I can celebrate with.
Someone I can talk to.
Someone I can strategise with.
Someone I can work with.
Someone I could hang out with.
Someone I can laugh with
Someone I can vent to.
Someone I can learn from.
Someone I can grow with.
Someone who is doing things perhaps in a way that I want to do them… or try a different way of doing things.

Most of all, if I really think about it, what I want is someone who is a similar version of me, further along the way.

Do you feel the same?   

For me, the person I want to grow into being is someone who is:

• More Unapologetic
• More badass
• More sassy
• More funny
• More entertaining
• More fabulous
• More fun
• More knowledgeable
• More certain
• More caring
• More open
• More generous
• More flexible
• More muscly (ha! Grow spaghetti arms, grow!!!!!)
• Fitter
• More connected

I want to BE more. I don’t want to DO more… but I am wholly committed to BEing more.

So I guess when I think about why I made and continue to make the decisions that I make around what I’m studying, what I’m learning, who I’m doing it with… it all comes down to THAT ‘why’…..

Because I know if I can become even more ME…

If I can evolve into becoming an even better version of me…

If I can do all of this, then I know that the natural flow on is that this then empowers those around me (including my family, friends and clients alike!) to become an even more amazing version of themselves.

I mean, if you’re not growing you’re dying, right?

What do you think? How are you committed to growing this year… and who do you have in your team to help you?

Nic x

PS. If you want help and you feel like we could be a good fit reach out and let’s chat! I’d love to help you if I can.