I don’t want to rock the boat… and I don’t want to inconvenience people.

What kind of bullshit is that!?!?!?

I know this may shock and surprise some of you… but I am (have been) a HUGE people pleaser and have been for most of my life, I think.

I was so hungry for the approval of others – strangers, even. It never used to matter who it was or what it was about… I used to put up with, well, a LOT.

I’ve done a lot of work on this over the years, however, I found it nipping at my heels again just this week.

I have had a medical procedure done recently (It’s ok and I’m ok. I’ll tell you all about it another day, I’m sure!) and I have had a couple of interesting things that I’ve noticed that I am sure aren’t ‘right’… not necessarily cause for huge amounts of concern, but enough for me to raise it with the practice….

But I hesitated. I hesitated on getting in touch with them because I don’t want to be a pain in the ass. Or an alarmist. On the other hand, I didn’t want to just ‘let it go’ and follow my normal  ‘go with the flow’ kind of attitude….

I hate confrontation. I don’t like challenging people on things.

I might seem like a total badass opinionated extrovert, but I find this stuff hard!!!!!

I hate the idea of inconveniencing someone and I really don’t like the idea that someone would think of me as a pain in the ass…..

For years I was worried about what other people thought of me and here I was again just recently being worried about someone thinking I was a pain in the ass…. Which, of course, is worrying about what other people might think of me!

Let’s be honest, though. It’s not really about worrying what other people think about me in general… it’s been worrying that people will think negatively about me.

Ugh. That’s uncomfortable.

I’m all up for people thinking positively about me!!! But getting past people thinking about me negatively seems to be one of the core things that comes up time and again.

For me, it’s also situational. I mean, I am happy to post all sorts of things all over the internet and proclaim THE HELL WITH WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS… and I mean it! I truly don’t care what some random person on the internet thinks about me. Love me, don’t love me, read my stuff or don’t. Whatever.

I’m jiggy with that….

But in the reals, real life, stuff…. I do care what other people think about me. Not enough to make me change who I am or what I do or how I am…. But it’s something that still comes up at different times!

I know there have been many times in my life and in my world where I have bit my tongue.. been a push over.. allowed things to happen or not happen because of this, and it’s bullshit when I look back on it now!

Naturally, because I’m writing this you know that I swallowed my pride and the need to be liked has been put to bed and I am just doing the things that need to be done.

And if some random people in person or on the internet think I’m a pain in the ass, who honestly could even GAF!?!??!

Life is too short to put up with this bs belief that I have to be liked by any and all I come into contact with!!!

Hope this helps you, too, to put this to bed.

Your voice needs to be heard.

You deserve to be seen.

And if anyone wants to give you grief, let me know and I’ll come and back you up.

Xo