Has anyone ever told you that you’re intimidating?

I think it’s WILDLY, roll around on the floor, wet my pants laughing, that people out there think that about me! I think it’s insane! If they only knew……

This has been something that’s been brought up over the past week, actually. Not about ME but people have said that they have found my clients intimidating in different ways. The thing is, that I know how this feels.

I laughed with a lady just last week who confessed that she was super nervous talking to me, and that she was worried because I seemed a bit intimidating, but she had to get on the call regardless of how she felt. I laughed with her. I turned that around fast with a ‘I’m not as scary as I might seem’! Ha! I don’t think I’m scary at all.

This whole topic of feeling intimidated by someone else is fascinating, I think.

What makes someone seem intimidating?

Their education?

Their history?

Their work ethic?

Their photos?

The financial status?

Their notoriety?

Their casualness?

What is intimidation, really?

Now, I haven’t gone and researched it, so please don’t expect that I’m about to share what the research says or reference any journals.

To me, when someone is feeling intimidated it’s because they don’t feel like they measure up to the ‘standard’ of the other person.

I imagine, that if I was to walk into Yale to meet with one of the lecturers, I would probably feel intimidated. They’ve got more university-level knowledge than me. They’re going to be pretty wicked smart. I suspect I’d feel somewhat intimidated as a natural reflex.

But if I look into it more, it’s not about THEM that has me feeling this way, it’s all about ME and me feeling like I don’t measure up. Or that I’m not good enough or smart enough or educated enough.

Yet, I also know, that humans are humans and we all have ‘stuff’, right? And I know that my course of action would be the same as the lady mentioned earlier. I wouldn’t let that stop me from doing what I wanted.

The reason I’m thinking about this today, is that I work pretty solidly to let you all know who I am,  how I am and I do my damnest to make myself as approachable as possible. I want you to get to know ME as a human as well as a badass business owner! After all, if we work together we’re going to be spending some time together and I want to like every one of my clients, please and thankyou! (not too much to ask, right?).

But it doesn’t matter what you do, there are going to be people who think whatever they’re going to think regardless.

It got me thinking, though, also about humanness. We ASSUME when someone reaches a kind of level of success in their business or career that they don’t have problems anymore.

Like actors having performance anxiety.

Famous singers worrying that the audience isn’t going to like them when they get out there, or that they’ll lose their words.

People with money worrying that people ‘out there’ only like them because they think they can ‘get’ something from them.

Seriously educated professionals feeling like they’re not qualified enough to take the next step, even when they’ve had 40 years experience and a ton of degrees and certifications under their belt.

I’ve heard so many stories of people feeling intimidated by random people on the internet that they just don’t put themselves out there.

Or they get worried that there’ll be someone (usually a peer) who will see their ‘stuff’, disagree with them and call them out on it… even when they’ve got a SOLID history under their belt at being a total badass at what they do.

One of the analogies that I used today, was like a Rockstar being surrounded by groupies wanting to find a partner and being worried that everyone was just interested in them because of their fame.

So, I laugh when people tell me that they find me intimidating! I obviously respect their feelings. I’m not an asshole!!! But I find the whole thing hilarious.

I’m a girl who lives in a tiny country town in the middle of nowhere.

I have 3 kids.

I’m married.

I love playing roller derby and skating in general.

I work out.

I worry sometimes about my body shape.

I am excited about many things and often wonder if I’m going to be able to do all the things I want to do.

I laugh ALL the time.

I am also sometimes too serious!

I challenge myself to be as open and approachable as much as I can.

I make mistakes. All the time.

When I’m under pressure I can be abrupt.

I say a LOT of words, all the time.

I like to wear Louboutin’s and Valentino’s and love my Chanel and LV bags.

I also love camping and being in my pj’s as early as I can!

I like to keep it real!

I like to tell it like it is.

I guess, for me, one of the things I KNOW is that I am more CERTAIN of who I am, what I’m about, what I will and won’t tolerate these days and I know my boundaries and I’m not worried about upholding them. I just will.

I hope, though, that these things make me more inspiring and motivating than intimidating!!!

The huge thing I know that’s important for all of us in this journey of business and marketing and helping other people – being of service – is that there WILL be people who may find you intimidating at first.

And that’s ok.

Remind them of their awesomeness and let them bask in your awesomeness and together you’ll light up the world!

No matter what, though, don’t dim your light or play down YOURSELF in order to try to make others feel comfortable.

We need you in all of your glory, with all of your sparkle, with all of your genius OUT THERE in the world doing what only you can!

The World Is Ready For Your Brand of Awesome, my friend!

Let that little light shine. Bright.

Nic x