It’s common to think that when you’re ‘there’ you no longer have any worries or concerns or fears.
It’s common, from the outside looking in, to think that those people who have seemingly ‘made it’ don’t get anxious or worry or feel stressed and pressured.
I used to look at people in my industry who were further along than I was wondering what it must be like to have not a care in the world. To be earning ‘the big bucks’. To be helping thousands of people around the world. To be writing books, getting featured in publications and getting all sorts of positive external validation all. The. Time.
I’ve worked with so many people who are ‘successful’ both as a client and as a mentor, and I can tell you something that really rocked me…. They still have the same fears, worries, anxiety-provoking thoughts.
We’ve seen the likes of Megan Markel talk about mental health recently. I am not getting into a debate about it. She can’t hear you nor will she read your stuff. Anything that can shine the light on helping more people feel strong and powerful within themselves and their own thinking is a great and good thing. Anything that brings these issues into mainstream discussions and de-stigmatise mental health issues the better, because it means more people will feel they can reach out for help without being ridiculed, victimised or shamed.
I’ve seen such hate and vitriol pouring out of the internet at people who have a different life than perhaps what ‘we’ do.
People think that ‘success’ or ‘fame’ or whatever the hell you want to call it automatically creates a barrier between them and ‘issues’ when it comes to their mental health. It doesn’t. They are human. As are you. As am I.
I still have days where I worry. In fact. I was saying to my husband on the way to the gym this morning that I was feeling anxious.
Logically I have not one reason today to feel anxious, yet, there it is. I’m mid-launch of a killer program that I LOVE the shit out of. I’ve got amazing people enrolled and more to come in. I am back working out, pushing and lifting heavy weights (for me!) and feeling great about that. My clients are all crushing it. I have coffee.
Yet. Anxious.
It’s a weird, weird phenomenon. And that’s just the reality.
I have a full day of filming, coaching, writing and studying. I have skating tonight!
There is not one reason to feel it, yet I do.
Don’t get me wrong, please. I’m good. I know how to manage it. I know how to deal with it. On days like today, I just do what I have to do and go through the motions and make sure I’ve got enough self-care happening.
I also know that this too shall pass. And it shall. It always does.
Having said all of that, and the admission that I don’t always have all my shit together, it is also not all doom and gloom! Hahha! Oh hells no.
I think about all the amazing things that are going on in my world.
I have travel booked! (Don’t want to jinx it, but how on earth can we not be excited when there’s travel booked and planned in times such as these!?!?!?)
I have an event booked next month.
I have new people coming in.
My kids are doing really well.
My parents are living the dream.
My brother and his fam are kicking ass!
My husbands family are healthy.
My clients are getting insane results.
I make more money these days with less effort and it’s growing month by month, steady as she goes.
I am feeling creative most days.
I am motivated, inspired and getting stronger.
I’m able to skate more this year than we did last year!
My hair didn’t turn out disastrous yesterday (I was really worried! Haha!) although it’s not quite ‘right’, but it could be a heck of a lot worse! We all know it’s all about the hair, right? Only every single day! #NotButItIs
Here’s something I know about every single ‘successful’ person:
- We all have doubts
- We all have fears
- We all have upper limit problems
- We’ve all had imposter syndrome
- We have all procrastinated
- We all have (and do) experience overwhelm
- We all have insecurities
- We all have things we don’t love about ourselves
- We all have things we do love about ourselves
I remember reading a post the other day, I can’t remember who wrote it, but it went like this:
Your body that you don’t love right now, is somebody elses’ dream body.
The same can be said for our lives, our income, our businesses, our clients, our current reality.. even our cutlery! 😉 ha!
Something that I endeavour to do when I’m feeling anxious, is to flip back to being grateful.
Grateful for my family.
Grateful for my friends
Grateful for my business.
Grateful for my income.
Grateful for my brain.
Grateful for my body.
Grateful for my mindset.
Grateful for my training.
Grateful for my resilience.
Grateful for my mentors.
Grateful for my courage.
Grateful for my home.
Grateful for my roof.
Grateful for technology.
Grateful for my ability to problem-solve.
Grateful for the coffee machine at home!
I’m grateful for the opportunities.
Grateful for my arms, legs and fingers that can touch type a zillion words a minute
Grateful for all that I have and all the great things that are coming my way.
So yes. While today I could be a little (lot) anxious…
While today I may not be as ‘up’ mentally as I normally am…
I may not be firing on all 95 cylinders like usual…
There is still a helluva lot of good stuff happening. There are still things I can do. There are people I can help. There is self-care I can implement.
There is a lot to be grateful for.
I am especially grateful to you for being here.
For reading, for witnessing this. For understanding and appreciating that this stuff is never ‘easy’ or simple to talk about.
I am, however, more committed to being real and raw and sometimes erring on the side of TMI that bullshitting you.
Because when I’ve seen, heard and witnessed people I thought were invincible sharing their vulnerabilities, it made me feel NORMAL!
I realised that I had been striving for the unattainable “everything is super perfect now that I have xyz or now that I’m making $x or now that I have x number of clients or now that I’m only doing stuff that lights me up or now that I’m able to do xyz”…..
In my view of the world, it is unreasonable to expect that you’ll be happy all of the time.
OR that you’ll never be activated by something or someone.
Or that you’ll always have your shit together.
Or that you can do it all, all of the time, in perfect ‘balance’ and harmony.
It’s like expecting a marriage is always going to be hunky dory and that you’ll always feel like you’re in love with your partner. Or like you’re always happy. Or that their chewing will never piss you off! Hahhahah! (Just me? I didn’t think so!).
I am all for NO BULLSHIT. For being real. For being true to you. For letting you know that whilst I am 95% on top of the world most of the time, I still have days where I’m not.
And with that, I am going to go and do the thing that I would tell my clients to do. Tools down. Take a moment. Work out perhaps ONE thing I will focus on for the next hour and just do that.
Just that! Just one thing. Not twenty-nine things. Not forty-four things. Not even three things.
Just one.
And after that, I’ll work out what one more thing could be. It could be chilling on the couch. It could be reaching out for a coffee. It could be Netflix. It could be filming. IT could be planning and plotting. It could be coaching someone.
Who the heck knows!?!?!!? I’m not at that point yet
As an aside, this is a great strategy for overcoming overwhelm as well. Think of just the one thing that is most important right now that you can action and tick off your list of things to do.
Just one thing.
And then do just one more thing.
Like New Kids On The Block famously sang “Step by step. Oooh baby! Gonna get to you girl”.
Love,
Nic x
PS. I am, as you’ll have seen, excited to be running my Signature 2 day live event: VISIBLE at the end of this month including a whole month of accountability following this event! Did you see it yet? Check it out. Guaranteed to eliminate ‘what the hell am I going to say and write or post about today’. Guaranteed to have you feeling confident to stand out from the crowd by embracing your very own Brand of Awesome! Find out more here: https://join.nicolamoras.com.au/visible-immersive-experience
