Ego is such an interesting thing, isn’t it?

This past couple of weekends we’ve been playing actual games of Roller Derby! It’s been sooo much fun! But… here’s the back story. The ‘ugly’ truth. The facts. And the happily ever after.

You know what it’s like in most sports, most fairy tales and in actual fact most business dreams… we start off with an image in our minds about how we want things to be.

The princess is wandering through the forest, picking flowers and stumbles across something that piques her interest. If we’re thinking about Snow White, of course, she meets the seven dwarves. Alice in Wonderland’s curiosity is piqued by The White Rabbit muttering “I’m late, I’m Late for a very important date”…

And not too soon after the scene is set, something happens and BAM!!!!!! You’re in the thick of it.

For those of you who don’t know about Roller Derby, it’s a fun filled, full contact sport that is played without a ball! We have 2 teams of 5 on the track at once.  1/5 people is a jammer. These people score point. They have to get past the defence of the other team in order to score points!!! 4/5 of our team mates are supposed to BLOCK / defend the jammer on the opposing team and try to stop them from scoring points!

There are a billion rules, there’s whistles blowing and music going and the much loved commentators talking about the plays, updating the crowd (many of whom have NO IDEA what is going on out there) with who’s doing what. There’s oooo’s as the jammer gets through and “owwwww’s” as someone is blocked (or hit with an opposing teamies butt).

As you might imagine, there’s a LOT going on and it’s a huge head game. I don’t know of any other sport where you have to train hard, get better, manage your brain and then play – if you’re lucky – once a month competitively!

AND EVERY SINGLE ROLLER DERBY PLAYER LOVES IT!!!!

Because there’s so much going on, it can feel somewhat overwhelming. For me, anyway. With the noise, the new people, the crowd, the thrill of waiting for the whistle. All of it! It’s a lot.

You all know me well enough by now to know as well that I really, really REALLY like to have a feeling of certainty and control over things in my world. From when I show up live, to my routine, to getting up early…. I feel very much out of control out there!!! It’s hilarious.

Which of course, is part of the reason I love it.

I am not the best out there and it’s highly likely I never will be.

And I’m ok with that….. most of the time.

Funny, though, I called my parents yesterday. They’d made the trek up to where we were playing to watch and cheer us on. And when I was chatting with them yesterday I asked what they thought – and they pretty much said what I knew “It was very fast and loud and very overwhelming”!!!! To which I agreed, of course! It was all of that.

We chatted about it and I had one main question to ask.

My ego was on the line, here. I don’t like feeling insecure! I am GREAT at talking everyone else up. I am great at encouraging. I am great at cheering others on and pointing out the AMAZING things they do well.

But when it comes to myself my inner mean girl can sneak in and I don’t like her very much at all.

So I asked a very specific question to shut that girl up. “Did I look like a newborn giraffe who didn’t know what she was doing?” to which my parents laughed and said ‘no’.

My biggest long term fear crossed with insecurity is that I don’t want to let people down. Be it clients, team mates, my kids, my family, my audience… I’d hate to think that I was just in the way and making their lives hard.

We all need external reassurance sometimes.

We all have insecurities, right?

It’s also kind of funny, because one of our newer skaters was saying that she felt like I needed to get out of my comfort zone!!!! I was like “NOOOOOOO”…. But yes. But no, but yes. That’s where the growth is, right?

For me, with my work, I’ve been doing this long enough that I know what I’m doing, how I’m doing it and I know this stuff like the back of my hand. I’ve been coaching for more than 11 years…. No worries at all! The external reassurance is sometimes, but rarely, needed.

It made me think of my clients and YOU who may or not be clients yet or ever or you might be soon…..

Your coach is the person who is there to provide you that external reassurance.

I see this as my job.

My ‘job’ is to make your life easier. To help you through the shitty bit in the middle of the fairy tale where it feels tough and hard and like you’re doing to die….oh wait. Maybe not die, but sometimes it feels like that when we’re feeling particularly vulnerable.

What happens when you make it through the dark forest of no return, with the wolves baying and the bears growling and the owls hooting in the still of the dark, cold night…. The dawn comes and fresh new things are able to be seen with a different perspective.

You start to realise that every time you pick yourself back up and you commit to just trying, getting better, showing up and remembering that the world isn’t relying on you having everything PERFECT…..

The magic happens.

The growth happens.

The FUN happens!

And then, you get to live happily ever after!

Promise xx

The thing with our ego, is that it’s trying to keep us safe! It’s trying to keep us stuck in the familiar, the same patterns, doing the same things, behaving the same way, because we’re all driven in some way by certainty.

And when things are uncertain, our ego can feel threatened…

The magic is, however, that when we put our ego aside and we do the things we want to get better at…. Even if we suck…. There’s always someone there cheering us on. Rooting for us to get better.

If you need someone to do that for you in some capacity, let it be me! Pick me! I’d love to be on your cheer squad!

You’ve so got this.

Tell that annoying voice that tells you that you can’t, that you’re not good enough, not qualified enough, not fast enough, not fit enough, not strong enough, not educated enough, not savvy enough, not bright enough, not smiley enough… [INSERT WHATEVER ELSE IN HERE IS TRUE FOR YOU] to FUCK OFF.

Seriously.

You are a totally amazing human and I am blessed to have you In my world. Even if we haven’t met, your energy is amazing. How do I know? Cause that’s all that comes into my world!

Amazing humans.

Amazing people.

Amazing souls.

Now. Get out there and change the world in your way, my friend!

We’re all waiting for you to EXPLODE OUT THERE!!!!

NIC xx

PS. If you want some help with this, let me know! VISIBLE | LIVE is coming up and I’d love to meet you in Perth, Melbourne, Sydney or on the Gold Coast in June x https://join.nicolamoras.com.au/visible-live

Photo circa May 2013 with my very first pair of roller skates. Love skating! It’s the best!!