Well hello there! Some things have changed since I saw you/spoke with you last… and because I am who I am, I figured I’d try and explain some thing that have happened over the past few years.

 

If you’re new to me … or perhaps you don’t know the <insert serious voice here> “Business Nicola”  .. here I am. I tend to share more than most but not everything. I try to keep my heart open. I try to look at things from a growth perspective, from an insight perspective and I try really hard to not take things personally.

 

I am, however, human! Gah. The human card. I know. Most of the time it’s great, but at other times it can be wearying.

 

The backstory for those who are new to me/new to Business Me. I had a great 11-ish year career working with one of the Big 4 Banks before taking a giant leap of faith in 2010 to start my own business. After 6 months of trying to juggle both, I resigned from The Bank in Feb 2011 and was solely in my business.

 

I have been ‘unemployable’ ever since!

 

I started out doing a style and branding accreditation before evolving into strategic branding for entrepreneurs which continuously evolved more into Marketing/social media with a strong focus on ‘Being you is the best marketing strategy there is’. Over the years I’ve worked with multi-million-dollar organisations through to start up entrepreneurs. I’ve worked with large groups of people online and in person around the world and I have worked 1:1 intimately with people in my own home and in other spaces around the world.

 

My focus is (and has always been) helping people to unlock their potential and to get themselves out there in a way that is aligned with WHO they are, WHO they want to serve utilising the best tactics and tools available to us.

 

Naturally this has evolved over the years. I started running paid advertising on FB back in 2011 and have seen it in its heyday all the way through to fighting tooth and nail for those ad conversions along the way. It’s gotten a lot harder as more and more people have found their way into the land of entrepreneurialism.

 

FAST FORWARD to 2019 – pre Covid. I ran the best event series I have ever run in my life – VISIBLE | LIVE. I did a National Tour, cavorting around the country doing what I felt like was the best work I’ve ever done. Helping people pull their Intellectual Property out of their heads and then putting that into a Framework that they could use to market themselves online as if there was no competition.

 

We said goodbye to imposter syndrome. We said goodbye to them feeling like ‘everyone is talking about this’ type of marketing and copywriting. After all, YOU are the best marketing tool there is.

 

I was having a ball. I was envisioning stadiums doing this stuff – a la Tony Robbins. Yes. I remember walking along the river in Perth the morning before the Perth Event, recording a Voxer to my bestie outlining the actual visions that I had about making this work on a large scale. It was so mind-blowing, because prior to this, I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t imagine doing this with more than 6-10-20-50 people in a room… and I had this amazing dream that I could actually do it on a massive scale.

The most exciting part about that idea, was that I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this would seriously impact the people in THEIR worlds. It would have those people helping more people with what they do. Imagine practice owners, healers, workshop runners, teachers, entrepreneurs, businesspeople … all of them reaching more people because they were showing up in the world in a way that was unique to them.

 

P.O.W.E.R.F.U.L.

 

I was electrified. It was awesome.

 

I’d planned another tour in April of 2020, figuring I would ‘snowball it’ till the stadium vision came to life!

 

I was blessed enough to squeeze in a retreat for my Mastermind at the time – The Rebel Squad Mastermind – here in Mildura, just before the world went crazy.

 

Then, March 2020 hit. Thanks, Covid. UGH. I pulled our kids out of school before everyone else did.

 

We had to cancel the in-person stuff. That was hard and horrible, but necessary.

 

I (along with many others) decided to run VISIBLE | LIVE as an online version, which was still really epic. I do love being in a room with The People, though.

 

Gyms were shut down not long around that time, and I joined an online strength-building program that also happened to be a Vegan program. I launched myself fully into that. I became more fit and grew stronger than I’ve ever been…. But with that came a price.

 

I lost all not only a bit of weight. I gained muscles I never thought I’d be able to grow. And I promptly lost most of my boobs.

 

Yep. My boobs ended up like socks with pebbles in the bottom! Hahaha! (Sorry if that’s a bit TMI, but there we go.).

 

So I decided that I would get that sorted out. I got breast implants in January 2021. LOVED them immediately. I’ve only ever had ‘big-for-me’ boobs 3 times in my life – yep. When I was pregnant with each of my kids! This was a lifelong dream.

 

I felt like finally I had ‘everything’ I wanted. Fit, strong, healthy, successful, growing muscles, feeling vibrant and healthy.

 

About mid-year 2021, I noticed I started to feel a bit more tired than usual.

 

You’ll remember in 2021 though, we were in and out of lockdown. I live in Victoria, so if you weren’t living in Vic at the time, I think you’ll remember that it was tough. I’m not going to get into the political side of things, but life was tricky.

 

I put the tiredness down to the stress of the time.

 

I was still working. Still coaching. Still running training programs. Still consulting. Still filming. Still running the business.

 

I kept pushing on and pushing through.

 

Throughout the first part of 2022 I felt like I was needing a nana nap every day.

 

I had blood test after blood test.

 

I had my hormones checked – a big alarm bell for me, was sobbing my eyes out at the back of my car when I arrived at skating one afternoon and I couldn’t find the key to open up. I’m talking sobbing. Sobbing like I had just lost the most important person in the world to me.

 

I was told I was probably peri-menopausal although it was likely a bit early for that.

 

I became lethargic. Trying to get through the days was hard.

 

In September 2022 I travelled to Queensland to complete in a Roller Derby Tournament. During that tournament, I thought I had sprained my thumbs! My thumbs and my fingers started aching. I developed an eye twitch in my right eye that wouldn’t go away.

 

I felt like I was a rag doll coming apart at the seams.

 

About midyear I had started listing my symptoms that I was experiencing. I had an appointment with my gyno who insisted it was perimenopause. I had a chat with my GP who tried to put me on pills.

 

I had all the tools. I had all the things there. Nothing was making a difference.

 

Many times, through the day, on top of the ongoing hand pain, there was like a hot knife going in my left breast quite regularly. My right one was also going through the same thing. I had an ultrasound and it showed cysts. The pain was put down to that.

 

My GP referred me to a rheumatologist. I was given pain killers.

 

This was September/October 2022.

 

I felt like I was dying.

 

I happened to be googling something about breast pain… and I literally stumbled across a phenomenon called “Breast Implant Illness”. I had been given the 2-second warning at the time that they went in that this could be a possibility. BUT my opinion was “I am fit, healthy, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke” etc etc that there was no way, out of allll the humans on the planet.. that I would be someone who would end up with this.

 

Wow. Holy shit. Out of the loooonnnnng list of symptoms that people had talked about, I had about 50ish. 50-ISH SYMPTOMS. Yep. Not one, not four, fifty-ish. It was actually ridiculous.

 

Yes. Now, some of these do mimic things like Perimenopause for example.

 

But I knew in my bones that this is what was going on.

 

I went into hyperdrive and investigated everything I could. My initial surgeon didn’t respond when I was asking for help, so I ended up finding a different surgeon. A wonderful human.

 

He didn’t belittle me. He didn’t play down my symptoms. He listened. He believed. Didn’t promise me a cure. He did promise me that he would do his best to help me.

 

What I didn’t realise, was that although they weren’t leaking from inside of the shell of the implant, I was actually being poisoned from the in-tact shell that houses the silicon.

 

Yep.

 

A long, slow death by poisoning.  

 

I didn’t realise that my immune system was in overdrive. I didn’t realise how many chemicals my body was exposed to – internally – on a 24/7 basis, of course.

 

So the timeline of my symptoms made sense. The more I researched, the more it made sense.

 

 

I wasn’t tired because I was lazy.

 

I wasn’t tired because I was /burning the candle’ at both ends.

 

I wasn’t sore and tired because I was in early perimenopause.

 

It wasn’t fibromyalgia.

 

It wasn’t rheumatoid arthritis.

 

It wasn’t stress.

 

It wasn’t Ross River.

 

I was losing my words. I literally was forgetting wrods. My cognition was decreasing. I had to get my family friends (literally asked them) to treat me like I had a brain injury becuase my brain was not working properly.

 

I was worried I was getting early-onset dementia on top of having zero energy.

 

I became a very faded grey copy-of-a-copy of my former self. Daggy at the edges. Even I could barely see the person I used to be.

 

I was heart broken. I was working through the grief of losing my health, my business, my personality, my pizazz (lol) and not being able to wear my kickass bloody fabulous outfits – hello sequin jackets!

I put on weight (probably the largest I’d been since I was pregnant with the kids) which in and of itself is fine. But it wasn’t just WEIGHT.. it was inflammation.

 

I was SLOWLY BEING POSIONED and my immune system was trying to save me. #ThanksWhiteBloodCells!

 

Admittedly, I was probably a bit burned out with work (by that time, I had been in my business for 12 years without really taking proper time out for myself).   

 

But for me, I was gaslit by a bunch of medical professionals who didn’t take BII seriously. I’ve had eyes rolled at me. I’ve been dis-believed.

 

Told something ‘is in your head’.

 

Told that ‘you’re just depressed’.

 

Told that ‘this is normal for a woman your age.. well maybe a bit early, but within normal ranges’.

 

But I KNOW how I feel NOW (post op) and I have changed nothing else up to literally today. Which tells me it was BII the whole way along.

 

My hands still hurt, which tells me there’s still foreign agents running around in my body that I haven’t fully detoxed yet and I am continuously working on eradicting them from my body. (Particularly if I get over tired).

 

I am still 90% vegan (woops chocolate). I am still skating! (My actual saviour throughout this time!).

 

And I’m finally back and able to work out without feeling like I am moving around pieces of paper….

 

And… EVEN BETTER .. I have capacity to get back on the work horse. THANK GOD!

  

MORE GOOD NEWS is I have felt like I’m back to the 2019/2020 pre-surgery me… VISIBLE | LIVE in person… travelling around. That me. Vibrant. Energetic. Full of life. Which honestly is probably the last time I felt really alive. Zingy. Zesty. Energised. Energetic. Sparkly. Shimmery. Like Myself.

 

I didn’t think (or expect) that recovery would take as long as it did. I mean, the external wounds healed quickly – as they tend to… but the internal muck that is running around my body. Woah. Not good.

From April 2023 to now (Feb 2024) I have taken it easy.

 

I’ve been both patient AND impatient.

I’ve been gracious and horrific!!

 

I’ve been humbled.

 

I’ve noticed things I wouldn’t have been able to notice.

 

I’m even more committed to my body and treating it in a way that it should be treated – with love and grace…. whilst also seeing what I can do with this bloody wonderful vessle I’ve been blessed to call mine.

 

So, this year is super exciting.

 

Healing is a constant job, right? Healing and closing the gaps and the scars that you can see right there on the surface. Right down to the deep wounds that lie beneath even though you can’t see them.

 

There’s always a silver lining. I feel like the past 2 years of slowing down and stopping have been a god send. I gave myself time. The biggest gift of all. I was available for my kids who each had various things that they needed their mum for. They needed me to be available, and I was – and am.

 

And now I’m ready to kick back in.

 

I guess the main thing that I wanted to let you know is this: No matter what’s happening in your world, trust your instincts and your gut. Make sure you prioritise your health.

 

I’m in this for long game! I know you are, too.

 

I’m in this for impact. For those who are also. I’m in this to inspire and motivate because that in turn inspires and motivates me! You give me just as much as I give you. More, perhaps.

 

It lights me up seeing you lit up. It fires me up seeing you fired up. It impacts me when you positively impact others.

 

I’ve been spending some time back in my journal over the past few weeks after not really hanging out in there much. Not because of anything other than I just didn’t have the energy. What’s great about hanging back out in there, is that there are some little inklings, shimmerings, glimpses of things that I want to talk about and create again.

 

Thank goodness. Because I was worried that I would never have another good idea.

 

I was scared I’d never have another client.

 

I was worried I was done.

 

I was petrified that the best was done. My best was done.

 

I was scared.

 

I’m not saying I’m not still at times. It feels like there’s a lot I want to do! There’s a lot I want to create. There’s a lot I want to say. There’s many, many things I want to co-create with people! There are events I want to put on. Books I want – probably need – to write. There’s a lot!

 

But I also know there’s time.

 

There’s space.

 

I can do this.

 

You can do this.

 

So, let’s do it!

 

Here’s to the most amazing year, ever.

 

Poison-free please and thanks.

 

TL;DR : Got implants in 2021. They were killing me. I got them out in 2023. Now I’m recovering and almost back to normal health 😉

BTW. Remember: You are bloody awesome as you are. If you’re considering implants, I would suggest not doing that but each to their own. The journey is yours and your alone. BUT be aware of the potential risks. I know you’ll get a black box warning from the surgeon and that’s all well and good. It’s probably a 3-second spiel and then you’ll sign off on it. It also does’t matter what’s INSIDE of the implant – saline or siicon. The fact is, that this will only impact you if you have a rupture.

HOWEVER. They don’t tell you is that your body literally reacts immediately to the implant which is your immune response. You’ll form scar tissue around that implant.

Mine were in for just under 2 years and he said they were ‘really really gnarly’… meaning that the SCAR TISSUE was what was causing the pain as it constricts. Ah huh.

 

I’m not suggesting that this will happen to you. But if it DOES what will your plan be? You’ll have a larger scar with removal. There’s also the recovery side  – explanting has a much longer than implanting due the extensive muscle repeair work that needs to be done. There’s a lot of surgery inside your body as well as the outside wound.

 

I support you and your right to choose. Just please be informed. I was fit and in the literal best health I had ever been. In hindsight, it took only 6 months to experience the first symptoms.

 

With my explant, I found Andrew who as I said earlier, was a godsend. Thorough. Empathetic and kind. I did have fat grafting to rebuild some volume in my boobs. I wouldn’t do that again. I retained a lot of the grafting, but I have ended up with dents in my legs from the fat harvesting (in places where it’s unlikely that the dents will disappear). So that’s unfortunate. But, live and learn, right!? Make the choice that’s right for you.

But most of all remember no matter what you look like, you’re freaking awesome.

 

People & Resources that helped me:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1769813939904203

Dr Andrew Campell-Lloyd – https://www.aclplasticsurgery.com.au/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/5975802852436754