I feel like this is my ‘I’m fucking done’ photo….
I feel like this is my ‘I’m fucking done’ photo….
….
In February this year, when I felt like I was really really ready and healthy enough to come back to work, the first thing I did was book a photo shoot!
The most recent shoot was in 2021 and I actually loved most of the photos from it, but I felt like I was no longer that person for all the reasons you already know.
Once the shoot was booked I then set the dates for the hotseat – almost on a whim – and had two previous clients book almost straight away.
I WAS EXCITED….
But … I felt like there was a big fat ‘BUT’ hanging around me…
Because I actually don’t feel like the human I was 2 years ago and obviously not the same person as 5 – 10 years ago.. and sure as heck not the same as I did when I started this in 2010.
One of the things I wanted to get out of the photoshoot was a photo of me that somewhat represented the death or ceasing-to-exist of the old me. The only words I really had were to create something that like a funeral of the old me. I didn’t really want to create an actual picture of me dead (cause that would be weird) but I wanted something that would represent that.
About halfway through the photoshoot I thought it should be something my photographer new about (lol! Sorry Kit)… and this is is what she came up with.
I think it’s pretty cool…..
To read a bit more about what this really represents for me… check out the below!
Hope it helps inspire you in some way shape or form, to FULLY LIVE the life and business of your dreams.
Cause you deserve that and so much more,
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A bit about how I have been feeling…
I’m done trying to do things that no longer serve me or you.
I’m done trying to ‘find a way’ to make things work.
I’m done trying to do things that I used to do things.
I’m done BEING SAD for times gone by.
I’m done feeling SHAME for needing to take time out.
I’m done feeling BAD.
I’m done feeling like a fraud.
I’m ALSO DONE with worrying.
I’m done with feeling GUILTY.
I’m done with feeling like I let people down.
I may have a lot of amazing content and IP and seriously kickass previous clients.
I may have a lot of experience.
I may have a lot of knowledge.
I may have a lot … of attitude (lol)
One of the things with booking this particular photoshoot, was that I was feeling conflicted, lost and not really sure about what I wanted to create. I had lots of ideas and thoughts and notes on things I could do… but I was still feeling like I was in the goopy-goo stage of metamorphosis.
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I mean… I’m still me.. but I’m different. I am not the person I was when I started this business in 2010.
I am not the person I was in 2013 when I started making serious money.
I am not the person I was when I was traveling to the US every 3-4 months.
I am not the person I was pre-Covid.
I can’t possibly be exactly the same.
But let me tell you a secret: NONE OF US ARE!!!!
I am different
I feel different
And I wanted a way to kind of bring the old me and the new me into what I’m wanting to do this year.
I feel like I needed some imagery that was a bit dramatic.
Imagery that was/is different to anything I’ve had before or used before.
I wanted to celebrate but also lay to rest the version of me that I felt like was still hanging on with a death like white knuckle grip on the past, on who I was and to be honest, to finally let go of the grief and sadness that I had been feeling.
This photoshoot was fun but it was also cathartic.
I feel strong.
I feel in tune with my body.
I feel aligned with what I want to do this year.
I’ve found a way to bring in the old and the new and therefore create some things that are pretty kickass I think!
So you’ll be seeing some things that may feel and seem familiar over the coming months.. but I hope you’ll also see some things that are different, too.
I am not 100% sure on what that’s going to be.
But I can promise you this:
– There will be live events – intimate ones and maybe some that are a bit bigger.
– There will be new things to learn and absorb.
– There will be some new things that I’ll talk about and share that will hopefully make you feel something… hopefully that will inspire you.
But for now, celebrate with me… my fuck it photo!!! The “I’m done” photo… wearing my latest favourite skirt that WILL be making an appearance at the next live event cause it’s freaking ridiculously dramatic and fun!
A bit about how I have been feeling…
I’m done trying to do things that no longer serve me or you.
I’m done trying to ‘find a way’ to make things work.
I’m done trying to do things that I used to do things.
I’m done BEING SAD for times gone by.
I’m done feeling SHAME for needing to take out.
I’m done feeling BAD.
I’m done feeling like a fraud.
I’m ALSO DONE with worrying.
I’m done with feeling GUILTY.
I’m done with feeling like I let people down.
I may have a lot of amazing content and IP and seriously kickass previous clients.
I may have a lot of experience.
I may have a lot of knowledge.
I may have a lot … of attitude (lol)
One of the things with booking this particular photoshoot, was that I was feeling conflicted, lost and not really sure about what I wanted to create. I had lots of ideas and thoughts and notes on things I could do… but I was still feeling like I was in the goopy-goo stage of metamorphosis.
Still in the smouldering ashes of the person I used to be.
I mean… I’m still me.. but I’m different. I am not the person I was when I started this business in 2010.
I am not the person I was in 2013 when I started making serious money.
I am not the person I was when I was traveling to the US every 3-4 months.
I am not the person I was pre-Covid.
I can’t possibly be exactly the same.
But let me tell you a secret: NONE OF US ARE!!!!
I am different
I feel different
And I wanted a way to kind of bring the old me and the new me into what I’m wanting to do this year.
I feel like I needed some imagery that was a bit dramatic.
Imagery that was/is different to anything I’ve had before or used before.
I wanted to celebrate but also lay to rest the version of me that I felt like was still hanging on with a death like white knuckle grip on the past, on who I was and to be honest, to finally let go of the grief and sadness that I had been feeling.
This photoshoot was fun but it was also cathartic.
I feel strong.
I feel in tune with my body.
I feel aligned with what I want to do this year.
I’ve found a way to bring in the old and the new and therefore create some things that are pretty kickass I think!
So you’ll be seeing some things that may feel and seem familiar over the coming months.. but I hope you’ll also see some things that are different, too.
I am not 100% sure on what that’s going to be.
But I can promise you this:
– There will be live events – intimate ones and maybe some that are a bit bigger.
– There will be new things to learn and absorb.
– There will be some new things that I’ll talk about and share that will hopefully make you feel something… hopefully that will inspire you.
But for now, celebrate with me… my fuck it photo!!! The “I’m done” photo… wearing my latest favourite skirt that WILL be making an appearance at the next live event cause it’s freaking ridiculously dramatic and fun!
xx
⚡️
