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DOWNLOAD MY FREE 'VISIBLE' DIGITAL CONTENT MAP TOOL & VIDEO TRAINING.
USED BY THOUSANDS GLOBALLY
I HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY
Hey! I’m Nicola and I have an addictive personality! What a way to start a post, right?
Anyway. What I wanted to share with you today are some things that I know about myself…
I was thinking today about what I wanted to share with you. I have done the journalling. I have done the introspection. I have shared the blog that I wrote yesterday… and I was pondering. Deeply pondering. Exploring the recesses of my mind.
I came up with quite a number of ideas, but they all felt… well… lame, if I’m honest.
So I decided to flick the switch and change tracks. Jump on a new train of thought if you will. And I did. I went touring around the country side of exploration and I have to tell you, I tried all my tricks. I tried the prompts that usually has ideas pouring out of me that I can’t stop. I tested out different techniques to bring it out. I played with, I wrestled with, I danced with and I lay with all the things I normally do…
And nothing.
Well, not really NOTHING… but none that I really felt compelled to share.
Until I realised that I was waiting for the RUSH of the idea. The rush of the new program that was going to come to me… sitting in a place of almost desperation, journalling, thinking, writing, contemplating and demanding that it let itself be seen.
SHOW YOURSELF TO ME. NOW. I DEMAND IT.
And no. That’s not how things work!
Ugh. Hello frustration.
I mean, shit. I know I am creative. I know I am inventive. I *always* get the ideas that I want, when I want them… except when I try to force them out and DEMAND that they make themselves visible to me!
It was from there, that I was pretty honest with myself about how I was feeling and I realised something that I knew but hadn’t articulated in this way before:
I AM ADDCITED TO THE RUSH…
I am addicted to the rush of the new ideas.
I am addicted to the rush of the new program.
I am addicted to the process of creating.
I am addicted to the launch.
I am addicted to the thrill of the ‘chase’ and the thrill of the attraction.
OH MAN. I AM ADDICTED AND I DEMAND MY FIX NOW, DADDY, NOW!
Thanks Veruca.
And like any addict, I got shitty that I didn’t get my fix.
That I didn’t get my hit.
That the freaking thing didn’t come to me. That it didn’t let itself be seen.
Wahhhh.
I know. It’s a true first world problem.
But perhaps you can relate?
When we want something so badly but the path just doesn’t seem to make itself visible to you?
When you know that you’re on the verge of something, but it doesn’t happen yet.
When you’re anticipating something, because it’s what usually happens.. but then you feel let down because it didn’t happen?
Damn you genius. Damn you muse. SHOW YOURSELF!
I think one of the things for me, is as I mentioned before, I have an addictive personality. I know this about myself and I make choices in line with that. I also have an immense sense of self discipline. I know I can do anything when I put my mind to it, and when I’m IN on something, I’m really IN.
I was a smoker when I was younger. I loved it. I know it seems crazy. But then when I decided enough was enough, I have this ability to flick the switch and follow through with a new choice.
I used to drink more than I wanted to. Nothing OTT but I used to self-manage it, because one bottle could turn to two and three nights a week could turn to five which could turn to seven.
Yes, it doesn’t help that sugar is freaking addictive as well and champagne is filled with that.
In my world, I like to fully immerse. So if you’ve got me, you’ve GOT ME! I am ALL in.
I know that I am incredibly loyal.
If I say I’ve got your back, I’ve got it.
I would also say in that instance, that I am addicted to helping people.
I am addicted to doing things that matter.
I am addicted to doing things in alignment.
I am addicted to trying to be a better human.
I am addicted to travel (which is ridiculously unfortunate right now).
I am addicted to dancing.
I am addicted to music.
I am addicted to interaction.
I am addicted to love.
I am addicted to growth.
I am addicted to living life in a way that is positive.
I am addicted to finding the best way that I can to influence and positively impact as many people as I possibly can.
Sometimes this addiction can backfire. But most of the time it serves me.
I have learned over the years to balance myself because otherwise I would be working well into the night and excluding my family! That doesn’t go down too well for a long period of time, let me tell you.
I am, wholeheartedly addicted to my business.
To you.
To your growth.
To the thrill of seeing YOU achieve.
To the thrill of reading messages from people sharing how I’ve helped.
To the thrill of reading messages from people about how they are achieving goals they never thought they would – even though they’ve dreamt about it for years and years.
I’m addicted to YOU.
And no. The brainwave didn’t come through yet.
The muse didn’t visit. The genius wasn’t caught.
The idea didn’t dance it’s way through my ears and into my brain and make itself known.
And with that, I sink into TRUST.
Trust that it’s there. Percolating. Waiting for the right time to show up and make itself known.
And until then, I’ll entertain the other addiction that I have, which is writing to you. Inspiring you. Motivating you. Adding value. And to having FUN embracing the process that is creativity.
Xo
PS. What about you? What are you addicted to? Do you love the thrill of the new idea when it comes to you? Let me know x