Yet, looking back over the past couple of months I think with everything going on, I was a little burned out with writing. I finished writing my latest book (Shameless plug for Into The Spotlight), I launched a new 3-month mastermind that I was super excited about and I’ve been doing what I can to support my bestie who is going through a range of cancer treatments for breast cancer (FYCANCER). We’ve been in lockdown (thanks Victoria!) and things have been as far away from ‘normal’ as they could be. No working in café’s…..
Having said all of that I’ve had other awesome things happen that were totally unexpected. I shaved my head, have fiercely loved having my family home for almost the entire duration of this lockdown. I’ve had new and current clients shooting the lights out with what they’re doing. It’s been beyond exciting!
That’s always how it works, though, right? The light and the dark; shade and brightness.
If you know anything about me you know that I’m an ‘all in’ kind of girl. I am generally filled with a thousand ideas, loads of goals, hundreds of things on the boil and I tend to share everything with all of you… And throughout this period of time (really over the past couple of months) I’ve really been feeling, well… a bit like there was a void in me that journalling, meditating, exercising and my ‘normal go-to’s’ just couldn’t resolve.
It’s so curious to me that we go through stages and phases where this happens… but the other thing that I always always always also know, is that it’s darkest before the dawn, right? I know logically that the breakdown precedes the breakthrough. That night before dawn, that everything can turn on a dime.
Don’t get me wrong. Business is great. This is more on the side of creativity and invention. I didn’t have any new program ideas…..
Let’s talk about that for a second because there were also reasons why I didn’t want to get distracted by that. As you know, every single thing that I put ‘out there’ into the internet is all about you becoming visible, you are stepping into the spotlight and you creating the impact that you want.
Every. Single. Thing. Is. About. This.
If I talk about money blocks and pricing, it relates into the above. If I share about being vegan, it’s because it’s helped give me energy to show up and inspire more people to leverage their energy and eat well for themselves. When I share about our morning walks it’s demonstrating our lifestyle of choice and freedom… which is afforded because of the visibility work I’ve done for myself that you can do for YOURSELF.
So, every single thing ties into that…..
The last couple of months, though, I’ve been on the launch train for the Book: Into The Spotlight (you can grab a copy at Booktopia here) and that was my whole focus for a couple of months.
Hindsight is 20/20, right? And I think to be honest with you, with everything going on, the book launch, lock down, trying to keep my eyeballs above water with many things… I just didn’t feel compelled to write.
I still had it in my planner though and it would taunt me every day.
I had it in my head to write… and I’d prioritise other things.
I would try to write and hit blocks.
I’d open a word document and the cursor would flash at me…. Taunting me. Teasing me.
I’d start writing and honestly the crap that would come out was total crap! I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) publish rambling of crapness! Nope. If it’s unhelpful it stayed where it was.
And so what shifted?
I started looking at where the bottle necks were in my day. Because I know that if I’m feeling inspired, motivated and like I’m serving people and helping people, the ideas flow like a gushing fire hydrant!
I want to be like a gushing fire hydrant.
I want to be overflowing with ideas, content, inspiration and motivation that I have to almost rein myself in…
I want to feel like I am in flow.
I want to feel like I’m creating impact.
I want to feel inspired.
I want to feel motivated.
I want to feel articulate.
I want to feel in tune.
I want to feel ease.
I want to feel AMAZING.
I want to feel powerful.
I want to create a rhythm with what I write.
I want to feel like I am connecting.
I want to feel magnetic.
I want to feel like I have something great to say no matter how many words come out.
I want to create movement.
I want to create almost a lyrical journey where I have moments of staccato and moments of piano and moments of brisk pace and moments of laid-back goodness.
I want to AWAKEN SOMETHING IN YOU that will inspire you to step up and take action.
I want to be so much more than I felt like I was being…
And so, while I was still showing up, I just couldn’t get the words to come out of the ends of my fingers!!!!!
I let my mouth do the talking and let my typing fingers take a rest for a while.
I forgot some things over the time I didn’t write:
- That music in my ears helps me
- That the journalling is just one way of accessing all that I want to access that I can then turn into the message to be shared.
- That when I’m not writing I don’t always stay in my own lane and I start to wonder if maybe I should go back to being more ‘structured’ and more ‘corporate’ in my writing (I mean, I still was able to write the articles that I was asked to write for other publications!!!!)…..
I let self-doubt kick in and I wondered if I’d ever feel like I would want to type up my blogs again…
I let myself get caught up in the fear of not fully walking my talk.
I let myself get caught up in wondering if maybe I didn’t really enjoy it after all….
But then… it’s a little like taking a break from the gym or skating for me. Sometimes I lull myself into thinking that maybe it’s not that fun and I could do without it….
And then I go back because I come to a decision that it’s TIME. That it’s just the thing that needs to happen now and to stop being such a freaking pussy and to go and do it – KNOWING that I love it when I’m there.
I push myself hard. I push harder and I finish up the session feeling energised and amazing and wonderful and I slap myself energetically because I realise I was so full of BULLSHIT!!!! I love it. I always do.
Writing for me feels the same. It just has to be done… but sometimes you need a bit of a break to really appreciate the brevity of what you do when you do it. Sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder.
So, I have to say to myself today welcome back! Ha!
And to you, thank you for allowing me back into your brains, hearts and minds so that you can do the same thing for your audience.
It’s always worth it!
I mean, who wouldn’t love to feel like the water in a gushing fire hydrant exploding with joy and enthusiasm and impact?
The very best thing that you can do is decide that the break is over.
That this is enough now and that it’s time to get back on the horse!
Be it the gym, writing, blogging, vlogging, showing up for your people, working out, walking, laughing, PLAYING…
They all feel the same when you come back…
Find a way to break the seal!
Nic
