ELIMINATE CONTENT-CREATION FRUSTRATION & OVERWHELM FOREVER!
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ELIMINATE CONTENT-CREATION FRUSTRATION & OVERWHELM FOREVER!
DOWNLOAD MY FREE 'VISIBLE' DIGITAL CONTENT MAP TOOL & VIDEO TRAINING.
USED BY THOUSANDS GLOBALLY
REJECTION & FAILURE
I don’t feel like it.
I don’t want to.
Even though I know it’s ‘good for me’..
Journalling.
Working out.
Eating good food.
Talking nicely to each other.
Meditating.
But first… Let’s talk about REJECTION AND FAILURE.
The fear of rejection can be very, very real for many people. I know it has been for me.
I have found it hard to ask for help in the past, because I’m a fierce, successful and independent woman, right? I ‘should’ be able to do this on my own! Well, we all know how that freaking works out, don’t we?
It’s something I’ve gotten better at over the years,
I don’t see anyone out there asking for help as weak… I actually admire their commitment to achieving what they want and being willing to stand up and ask for help.
Deeper than rejection, I think is shame….. the deep red burn of the cheeks when you get a response that you don’t want or don’t really like. The flush that rises from the gut, right up through the chest, when you chose to take the leap ‘out there’ only to feel like it’s flown back in your face.
For me, I know this feeling. I’ve danced with it, fought with it and slept with it. The feeling of your heart wrenching out of your chest, wondering what on earth the person (or people) are thinking about you… from “I’ve been found out. Maybe I screwed up. I’m not that good at all. I can’t do this. I should’ve just stayed quiet and not reached out”.
The thing with this, though, is that it’s very one-sided, isn’t it? We’ve got no idea what’s going on in the mind of the other person. You might be right, but you could be wrong.
I want to celebrate for a moment, your bravery. Your willingness to give it a go. To ‘get in the arena’ a la Brené Brown.
For me, this fear of rejection goes back to school days, girl friends and boy friends. I think for me, I never really appreciated or understood my worth…. Not that my worth is based on someone’s opinion, but I used to think that it did.
This translated into my life post-school. Not really understanding why I felt so different to how I saw other people. I think I never really understood why people liked me – or didn’t. I mean, yes, I’m nice, but so are many other people out there. I didn’t get it
I remember one day at The Bank I was emailing a client about her home loan and I organised a time for her to come in. She said “Thank you for being how you are. You’re always shining. You’re so shiny”. I can’t remember her name, but I remember, for probably the first time in my life, thinking “What the heck!! Am I really shiny? And what the heck does that even mean?”.
It was another year following that, that I resigned and worked in my business full time.
The fear of failure is one thing, but it tends to be based on an action you’ve taken or not taken. It could be that your audience didn’t respond how you wanted them to, but you can put it down to your performance. You might fail at a sales pitch. You might fail asking for help. But these are all based on an action you’ve taken. If you haven’t taken an action, you actually can’t fail. You can only exist.
The fear of rejection, however, is different. You don’t have to do anything and you can feel rejected. You can do something and feel rejected.
We can make up the idea of rejection in our heads because it’s based on our assumption of what’s going on in a situation.
For instance, I’ve been asking anyone I know for help with interviewing some well-known musicians for my latest book. BUT. I didn’t. For 18 months. Because I was worried that they’d reject me, that they would think that this was a total waste of time. That they wouldn’t see any value in talking to me. I was worried about what the exchange would be –all that I have to offer to them is a great time, a very humble and grateful thank you and I can promote them to my audiences. Which honestly, felt a little lame when a lot of them have a helluva lot more following than I do! So what was in it for them? Hopefully a feel good project. A great PR experience for them, where they’re able to share the interview with their people as well. To be able to inspire some people to be brave and chase their dreams.
I think there’s a lot in it! But, again, I held off on asking the question because I didn’t want to feel like I was using people. I allowed my own doubts, my emotions to get in the way of doing ANYTHING.
I made the decision FOR THEM. I decided to rob them of the opportunity to talk with me!
How often do you make the decision for YOUR AUDIENCE about what you’re doing? “I can’t put that out there because they might not like it” or “They won’t agree with this, so I’m going to keep it to myself” or “I am not going to share this cause it feels too much, too little, too lame, too out there’…
Maybe you’ve thought about posting LESS because you don’t want to interrupt someone’s day. But honey, what if the thing you share is the exact thing that’s going to inspire them, motivate them and actually help them to get on with their day.
I am a firm believer of ‘right message, right time’ and I’ve seen this play out over and over again over the years. The more I listen to my own intuition, my own ideas, my own heart, things always have a way of working out.
There is actually no such thing as rejection in the world of marketing. There is no such thing as rejection when you’re selling something.
So what if Karen doesn’t like what sharing. Do you really think in 12 months time from now you’ll remember who Karen is? Do you even care about what she thinks, really, about what you’re posting and sharing?
Who cares if Roger hates the way you speak and articulate your thinking? Does it matter? There’ll be someone else out there who can help Roger. It doesn’t have to be you.
These people cannot reject you, because this isn’t a matter of the heart.
I love reading about how Michael Jordan missed 9000 shots over his career.
I love reading how many times musicians submit their demo’s to music studios until they find one who’s willing to take a risk.
I love hearing the stories of persistence and grace in such situations.
I love watching YOU grow and persist and continue to show up, regardless of what’s going on.
Because you know what?
People will come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it’s not up to us to judge that. We just have to keep being us.
You have to keep showing up.
You have to ask for help if and when you need it…
And you know what? What’s the WORST possible thing that could happen????
Things don’t work.
Someone says no?
Then what?
You learn, you adapt, you adjust, and you go on again.
Because THAT is who you are.
When you resist the things that you know are going to make you feel better (like the journaling, meditating and working out I mentioned at the start), it’s like you’re trying to prolong the pain that you’re in. You’re putting off accessing the magic that’s in you.
You’re selling yourself short. You’re in effect rejecting yourself before anyone else can even do it for you. Rejecting yourself from the energy you’re entitled to. From the body you’re entitled to. From the calm you’re entitled to. It also gives you an ‘easy out’ and a ‘good’ (yes, I use the term loosely) reason why you don’t have what you say you want: IT ALL.
Enough now!
Do the things you’ve been putting off.
Be brave. Ask for the help you need and want.
Show up and help people who need it.
Get out there.
Go help some people.
Have a shit ton of fun doing it.
And remember, the world is ready for your brand of awesome.
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
FYI…. If you want to kick some serious ass in May by increasing your:
• Activity
• Action
All with a healthy dose of
• Accountability
Then I invite you to join my latest round of the 30 Day Challenge which I have subtitled “I’m a mofing badass” <- meaning YOU!!!!
We’ll talk every week day morning. You’ll share what you’re working on, I’ll answer any questions you have and you’ll get to doing the things you’ve said you want to do!
You will get a copy of my 90 Day Planner (you’ll fill yours in) that you’ll work on for at least the next three months. I can guarantee you that you’ll increase your results because you’ll be FOCUSSED. You’ll get more done in less time, with less energy. This process is the exact way I’ve made multi-millions of dollars online over the past decade. Planning in a way that’s effective and implementable.
But don’t take my word for it. Here’s what others have had to say:
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Jessica Ambrose
“???????????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???? ???????????????????????????? ???????????? ???????? ???????????????????? ???????????????? ????????????????. ???????? ???????????????????????????????? ???? ???????????????? ???????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ????????????????-???????????????????????????? ???????? ???????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????? ???????????????????? ????????????????????????????, ???????????????????????? ???????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????????????????????? ????????. ???????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????? ????????”.
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The 30 day challenge was what I needed to help me refine my implementation focus and work through some key challenges I was facing in getting my online offerings through. Nicola was generous, insightful and dedicated in her support. Added bonus, discovering I could gain an extra hour from being up so early!
Valerie Ling
I LOVE this program. It’s early starts. It’s a kick up the backside. It’s connection. It’s all the things you need to get your business moving forward from idea to action. Loved it so much in fact, I did it multiple times! Might even see you there! Do it!
Tess Crawley
I started in this 30 day challenge when I was in a bit of transition with my business. Nicola was there daily to help me show up and move past all the bull shit in my head and launch my first online programs. I had some much more focus and confidence doing this program. I loved this 30day program so much, I stayed for the next 6 months!
Amanda Mannes
This is 30 days of head down, bum up – let’s get stuff done. You definitely get out what you put in. I was awake everyday early to show up and do it. It was for me and I got so much out it. My goal was to show up to every morning and make sure I could keep working through the morning. The amount of stuff I got through by 10am was unbelievable. All of my questions were answered and more. If you want to challenge yourself to step it up, this is the way. You will feel supported, motivated, determined and accomplished! I highly recommend leaving your excuses at the door, set you alarm, wake up and do it for 30 days. Get stuff done.
Kelly Drobek
Nicola’s 30 day challenge is the best thing you can do to get your self achieving!!! The best way I found to keep me on track and accountable!!! I got so much done, so much clarity and even did it in a different time zone – while I was overseas in Jerusalem!!!
Was great and tailored and personal focus – got help when I needed, pushed when I needed and was great to meet others and feel part of something and cheer others and hear their successes and learn and inspired from their drive and focus!!!
Can’t get that sitting at home on your own!!! Nicola has such great knowledge – I’ve worked with her since 2016 – always inspiring and always learn knew things and she always has a knack for saying just what I needed to hear!!!
Sandy Cooper
The 30 day challenge inspired me to get up & look forward to every day. If anyone is thinking of doing this I would recommend this 100% that it will help you wherever you are at in a business but also help bring encouragement & inspiration to be motivated each day.
Jeanette O’Brien
JOIN HERE: http://www.nicolajmoras.com/