Before You Post That Heartfelt Story, Read This First
I left my corporate job in 2011 after starting my business in 2010. One of the reasons I decided to head off into the Land of Entrepreneurialism was because I wanted more freedom and I wanted the ability to make more money than I was in my job. All of this with a side of less pressure, please and thank you.
Well. For anyone who is ‘out on their own’ starting or running a business, you know as well as I do that there’s not less pressure. Running your own business is like a pressure cooker. Less pressure than a job? HA! I wish. The benefit of course with I’m-My-Own-Boss-Pressure is that it’s self imposed pressure versus pressure from an external source.. although ‘benefit’ is subjective.
I was working my butt off trying to get things working to a point where money started flowing and things were working. I was busy with work. I had 3 kids under 10 when I started it all up and things were BUSY.
Then, in 2013, Dom and I almost split up.
No one really knew. Not our family. Not our friends. Definitely not the online world.
We were together, but not really. More like flatmates co-parenting and sharing bills. I was angry. He was shut down. We barely spoke unless we had to. We were surviving, not living. And behind the scenes, I was questioning everything. Wondering if this was it. Wondering how the hell we got here.
At the time, we were like ships in the night. He’d leave for work early and get home late. I was juggling the kids and dinner and work and clients and school runs and day care and motherhood… and I felt like I was doing it all on my own.
It was tough. It was hard on Dom. Hard on the kids. It was a really rough time.
Meanwhile, I was posting online like everything was fine. Yes, I was running the business and doing it well. Showing up to events. Smiling through it all. And dying a little inside because I didn’t feel like I could say any of it out loud.
It was the toughest two years of my life.
And it was, for the most part, kept pretty private.
I didn’t post a dramatic essay about my marriage on Facebook. I didn’t hit record on a teary Instagram story. I turned inward. I did the work. We both did. It was messy. Private. Quiet. No one got the behind-the-scenes play-by-play.
We did go to therapy and eventually, we found our way back to each other. With honesty. With intention. And a whole lot of work.
These days, we’re solid. There’s laughter again. Real connection. We’re in a great place. But we had to fight for it.
And here’s the thing. I’m am happy to share stories and things like this now because I’ve done the work. I’ve lived through it. I’ve processed it. I’ve got the scars and the strength.
But it took time. And I never wanted you – my audience – to feel like you were my therapist!
I wholeheartedly advocate for sharing authentically and fully… but it’s not always right to share everything and more often than not, it’s not appropriate to share it in real-time.
Your audience, your clients and the people you’re leading don’t ever want to feel “ewww that’s a bit much” with what you’re sharing.
You’ve probably got something sitting in your drafts right now that you’re not sure about sharing. If that’s you, run it through this. I recently wrote an article for the media where I shared a story-filter that people can use before putting your stories out into the world.
Here it is: ‘SHARE’ before you share.
S – Stable
Are you grounded enough to talk about it? If you’re still in the spiral, still raw, still ragey, it’s not ready. You don’t have to be perfectly calm or totally over it. But if your nervous system is fried and you’re hoping the internet will soothe you, hit pause.
H – Helpful
Will this actually serve the people reading it? If it’s just a purge, save it for your journal. If it’s going to help someone feel seen, understood, or fired up to take action, hit post. There’s a massive difference between catharsis and contribution.
A – Aligned
Does this fit with who you are and what you stand for? You don’t have to be on-brand in some polished marketing way, but it does need to reflect what matters to you. Your values. Your truth. Your vibe. If it feels like a detour just for likes, sit on it.
R – Respectful
Are you honouring the people in your story? Even if they’re not named and even if they’ll never see it… If you’re unsure whether someone would feel safe reading what you wrote, you’re not ready to share it. Period.
E – Empowered
Does this lift people up? Your story can be raw and it can be real. But it needs to give people something to hold onto. A truth or a lesson. If it ends with despair and no direction, it’s a dump not a gift.
Your voice is powerful and your story matters, but you are not obligated to bleed online for the sake of “authenticity.”
You get to share what you want, when you want, how you want.
Not every story needs to be shared.
When you’re ‘SHARE’ ready, it’ll land. It’ll connect. It’ll help. It’ll move the right people in the right ways.
And that’s where the magic is.
