I have one of my children home sick today and it seems that all of my motivation left with the snotty tissues that were taken out to the bin!!!! What the heck? So crazy, right? I mean, I’m normally like HELLLLLO MONDAY, LET’S DO THIS!! My normal routine is on. Had my 6 am call, did the gym, looked at the next focus for me for the upcoming 2 months with workout and nutrition..

And got myself sat down in the chair, lappy open and word doc ready to roll. My daughter is sitting next time, typing up an essay – she hates to get behind – while enveloped in her Oodie! (It’s a panda one and OH SO CUTE!).

I made the decision today to active “MUM MODE”. Just be here, help her and do what needs to be done. Therefore, made the decision to not do a LIVE coffee run this morning and instead shared one from this time last year (did you check it out). Attended to emails, voxers and coaching clients.

Then. Word doc open, ready to write a blog and my brain seemed to skip a beat and go ‘NO’! Hahhaa! To which I replied to my little self-talk brain ‘let’s go find an old blog and share that today. Today can be renamed RESHARE Monday. After all, it’s not like y’all read and remember every single thing I’ve ever written, right?

So anyhooo, I decided to open up one of my folders from 2018 and I was looking through for a blog to re-share and I came across some of the work that I was doing at the start of 2018… and one of the things I was doing was writing ‘VISIBLE’….

At the start of 2018 (coming off a traumatic end to 2017 for a whole host of reasons), I had made the decision that “If it’s not fun, I’m not doing it”.

I had decided that I wanted to start developing my business into the corporate market. I worked for corporate for 12 years. I knew that people within corporate need to stand out, be seen, be VISIBLE and build a name for themselves utilising their own personal brand. This would serve them well in their professional growth. The strategies were pretty similar to what I was teaching entrepreneurs, with a slight tweak to how they would be applied.

With this in mind, I wrote a new BIO. I drafted a bunch of White Papers. Now. Please note that I had NEVER EVER EVER even heard of a whitepaper before then.

A white paper is: A white paper is an in-depth report or guide about a specific topic and the problems that surround it. It is meant to educate readers and help them to understand and solve an issue. … White papers are no less editorial than other forms of content, but the depth of research lends them an authoritative tone.

So I was trying very hard to be taken seriously… and I figured that I would have to write pretty seriously in order to be taken that way. Draft after draft. I had tons of ideas.

I came across some of these this morning in search of a blog to re-share or re-purpose.

Wow. I didn’t realise just how insecure I was at the start of 2018 coming off all of the stuff from the year before.

I knew I had been hurt. I knew I had been somewhat traumatised. I had even considered throwing in the towel because I didn’t feel like I could possibly bear to go through anything like that again. (It was a mean girls’ experience. I’ve talked about it a lot in the past, remember?!).

Anyway. Looking over these this morning I realise, fondly, just how far I have come.

2018 was a big growth year for me.

I tried on some different hats. Again.

I was still ‘me’ but a bit more playing it safe, still.

Fast forward to the end of 2018… I had another Spy School event under my belt that I LOVED. I was reminded how much I love doing in the room events. I was reminded just how powerful they are. I was reminded how much I love running them and organising them (systems, anyone!!?!?!?). I was reminded how much I love some of the theatre aspects of them.

I was reminded how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE seeing light bulbs go off over the top of people’s heads when they finally start to see what I see within them – their potential.

I should really have tattooed on me somewhere “You’re too much for corporate”!

You see, part of me used to dance with this idea at least once per year. I would imagine what it would be like. I imagined how helpful it was. I imagined being the trainer in the room like I had when I was at The Bank and how I admired her.

But it’s really not for me.

At the end of end of 2018 I finally made a firm decision. Again to make what I do fun for me and for ‘the people’… but also to be okay with being myself. That there was nothing to fear. That there was everything to gain. That I could never go back to where we were before. That I would never ever have the same experience again like I had in 2017. It was impossible.

Because I had grown far too much!

The last two years particularly have been as much about growth for me as they have been about shedding.

Shedding the should’s.

Shedding the must-do’s.

Getting rid of the ifs, buts, maybe’s.

Stopping (as best as I can) the self-doubt and the self-flagellation.

I decided that NOW was the time to try doing things in a different way. Not being different, but more having the mindset of “let’s just play, test and measure and see what works and what doesn’t”.

I started running smaller programs than longer programs. Intensive programs and light programs. I was running energy programs. I was running training programs. I was running combo programs. Accountability programs. Live events (VISIBLE | LIVE was born in 2019 with the first National Tour happening in November of that year).

I let go of any and all obligation to do things in “The Way”.

I threw myself right off the cliff.

I asked for help from mentors. From The Universe. From Source. From myself.

I haven’t stopped!

I’ve had some amazing months and some months where things haven’t worked.

I have no idea what idea might strike me next month and what I’ll sell. But what I can promise you is that it will be something to do with getting you out of your own way so you can inspire and motivate the tens of thousands, millions of people that you’re here to impact.

I looked at the bio from 2018 for the whitepapers and even the bio from my book Visible… and I am grateful. I am grateful for being conservative back then.

It makes me cringe!! Hahhaa! But I am grateful.

Because it goes to show that you can grow and evolve and change and expand and step more ‘in’ and find yourself.

And that there’s always a new depth.

There’s always a new level available to you…

If you’re willing to let go of how you think you ‘should’ be. Even if sometimes you do be who you ‘should’ be because it feels safe.

When I look at how FUN my website is now…..

When I look at how FUN VISIBLE | LIVE is for me and how fun it’s been for those who have attended…

When I look at how FUN it is to step into that real Rockstar version of myself…

It’s pretty exciting and wonderous to imagine what I might be thinking about this time, right now, in 2 years time!

My future self I think would be kind. My future self would say this, though:

Stop playing it safe. There’s another level here for you.

Most of all though, my future self tells me this “You’ve got this”. And I know I do.

As do you.

What does it look like for you two years ago? Who were you back then? What were you doing and what were you saying?

And if you were to bring your future self back from 2023 right now, what does your future self say to your current self?

It’s a pretty rad ride, don’t you think?

Xx Nic