Too loud.
Too chatty.
Too vocal.
Too thin.
Too fat.
Too conservative.
Too much of a prude.
Too extra.
Too tattooed.
Too fake.
Too pretentious.
Too unbelievable.
Too real.
Too raw.
Too silly.
Too brash.
Too insensitive.
Too happy.
Too positive.
Too snappy.
Too linear.
Not clear enough.
Too jumpy.
Too inconsistent.
Too casual.
Too dressed up
Too masculine.
To feminine.
Too muscly.
Too flabby.
Too much.
Too silly.
Too many jokes.
Not enough humour.
Too rigid.
Too firm.
Too soft.
Too spongy.
Too qualified.
Not qualified enough.
Too stupid.
Too smart.
Too blond.
Too much attention.
Not enough attention.
Too high pitched.
Too much laughter.
Too smiley.
Too serious.
Too rigid.
Too deep.
Too shallow.
Too much of a thinker.
Not enough thinking.
Too much going on.
Not enough going on.
Work the same thing over and over again.
But not too much.
Too creative.
Too many ideas.
Too hard to follow.
Too fast.
Too slow.
Too motivated.
Too much energy.
Top speed or asleep.
I don’t know how anyone can keep up with you.
Too dynamic.
Too many sequins.
Too many projects.
Too many things on the go.
Nobody else could do that.
You can’t teach that.
Don’t share too much.
You give too much away for free.
You don’t give enough away for free.
Too brave!
Too much courage.
More front than Myers.
Too humble.
Too quiet.
Too introverted.
Too extroverted.
Too generous.
Too kind.
Too loyal.
Not kind enough.
Not loyal enough.
Not generous enough.
Too cold.
Too standoffish.
Too warm.
Too chatty.
Too familiar.
Too touchy.
Too fast.
Too much thinking.
Too blunt.
Too ass-kicky.
Too not-caring enough.
This is a list of as many things as I could remember that people have said to me or shared with me. Some of these things are things that I decided to believe were true for a moment, a spell, a segment of time…..
Most of these pretty much sum up me… just got to take off the ‘too’ or the ‘not’ in front of most of it! You see, these are judgments of OTHER people that somewhere along the way I chose to believe and it screwed with me.
I am me.
I am all of the above and none of the above…. Some of these things are things that I have said to myself. I’d NEVER in a million years utter any of these words to someone else. Never. Ever…. Why? Cause I know the impact that this can have on people.
I guess a big part of what I what to share with you today is that the very thing that’s ‘wrong’ with you is exactly what we need in this world. The EXACT thing that ‘they’ think is bad or good…. The things that you know are inherently YOU that you then reject… these are the things that make you, you.
You all know by now that I am by nature a happy effervescent bubbly human most of the time. I love being happy. It’s a choice that I make every single day. Literally. I locked it in during a period of time where I found it very hard to get out of bed and I was complaining even before my feet hit the floor about how tired I was or how grumpy I was or how much love I wasn’t being shown from my husband. Literally in my head grumble grumble grumble.
If you’re waking up grumbling how do you think you day is going to pan out? Probably pretty shit, to be blunt.
I remember one particular morning, feeling pissed off with the world as I dragged my ass out of bed and into my work out clothes…. Dragged my sneakers on for our ‘happy family morning walk’and we go to the side gate without uttering a word to each other – myself, my husband and my kids.
And I had this realisation, like the anvil dropping on Wile E Coyote in the cartoons with road runner…. That if I kept this up I was going to not only end up with the day from Shitsville … but probably end up a bitter old woman resenting the world and everyone in it.
OUCH.
I projected right out there in that moment – it took about 3 seconds in actual fact – the reality that I was hurtling towards. NO THANK YOU!! I decided in that very moment, literally as I walked across the threshold of the gate to the outside world, that I CHOOSE to be happy every single day. That every single day it’s a choice.
Now. What’s curious about this, is when I think about who I was BEFORE the world told me who I ‘should be to be successful’ I was a happy person.
When I started working in corporate at the age of 19, I was happy, chatty and curious. I wanted to learn everything. I was eager. I was a quick learner. I was so damn curious to learn more, be more, and grow.
When I finally got into the ‘head office’ which is where I thought would be where I wanted to stay, to work my way up and gain opportunities that you just don’t get in the ‘burbs, I was still me. Curious. Eager to learn. Eager to help. Very contentious. I’d always seek out things to do. And when I got comfortable being there, more of my personality would come out.
And that’s really when I learned a very big, life changing lesson: Nobody thinks I’m funny and if I tell jokes (not anything in appropriate, just funny Dad style jokes) you’ll get hauled in an office by your manager who will tell you in no uncertain terms that nobody finds you funny. Nobody thinks your jokes are funny. Nobody needs your help. Just do your job. That’s all you need to do.
OUCH
At 19. Shamed, humiliated for being who you are. For sharing your true nature, innocently and freely with a group of adults who I thought were my friends in a way as well as colleagues… I was devastated.
This incident followed on from a rough break up with my high school boyfriend where I believed that I wasn’t pretty enough, driven enough, hot enough, funny enough, nice enough, talented enough, risky enough, thin enough… to keep.
These two events were then followed on by another experience where I learned that I was just not enough to be put first. To be chosen first.
I felt like I needed to be someone that I was not in order to be accepted. I had to tone down my personality. I had to change who I was.
I became a bit of a chameleon. Shape shifting until I felt comfortable with who I was around enough to slowly let my guard down.
I see the same thing happen all the damn time
People trying to wear different personas and different personalities in order to try to fit in. In order to try to make things work.
When the biggest lesson of them all is really this:
You are freaking A M A Z I N G as you are, naturally.
If you’re fun, funny, silly, amazing! You’re not ‘too fun’ or ‘too silly’ or ‘too funny’…. Well for some you might be, but THEY ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.
Your people are people who GET IT.
Who are IN THE FUCKING ARENA WITH YOU. Standing by you. Getting their knees dirty when they get knocked down.
They are people like ME (and my people) who LOVE YOU BECAUSE of your ‘apparent too muchness’…
There is no such fucking thing.
There is just YOU.
Who you are.
Without you trying to be someone you’re not.
Isn’t it time that we started making peace with the too muchness and owning these as the GIFTS that they are?
Too many words? Damn straight I have lots of words. Too many? Not enough I’d say! I have a million words to spend each day and I have to get them out otherwise I feel like I’m suffocating and I haven’t done enough.
Too much swearing? Fuck yep. That’s how I roll. Don’t like it? Awesome. Listen to someone else.
Too much ‘fake’? Well. I dye my hair blond (usually). I get my nails done. I get my lashes done. Why? CAUSE IT MAKES ME FUCKING FEEL GOOD and if you don’t like that, then that’s your problem not mine.
Too HAPPY? Cry me a river. I am going to be so happy that my happy will eventually infect you!
Too shiny? Well, too bad. It’s how I am. I’m here to light up the fucking world. Get used ot it.
Care too much? It’s how I roll.
Don’t care enough? Bullshit.
Too fast? Try and catch mofo!
Too slow? Not really how I roll.
Too directive? It gets shit done.
Too not-directive? Bullshit! I get to the point eventually!
I set high standards FOR MYSELF. It’s how I roll. Not because I think for a moment that I’m better than anyone else or different to anyone else or more deserving or more insightful or whatever.
I set high standards because I want to live an ELEVATED life. Because in raising my standards I in turn inspire others to expect more from themselves and to elevate THEIR lives.
So that’s me. And always when the words run out, they really run out ???? hahhahaa!
You are here to create IMPACT.
You are here to do many many great things.
And the thing that is going to make it alllllll work is the person who stares back at you in the mirror every morning when you’re brushing your teeth…..
Owning ALL of who you are.
Your freakiness.
Your too muchness.
Your awarkwardness.
Your awesomeness
We’re waiting to see you.
The thing that’s wrong with you is exactly what I want more of!
Yippy Kay Ay!!!!
Nic x
